🐾ॐMadame Petite Sarcasmeॐ🐾

Hello my name is Anouk , I live in Costa Rica (born and raised) I speak english and spanish, and i´m currently learning portuguese...I'm an aspiring poet ( been writing for 8years now) I'm trying to lose weight the natural way.

Feel free to ask whatever heads up though I don't accept anons.








why aren’t these being reblogged more often?
i rather see these than “keys in hand”


Umm so since I’m stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest? 

I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)

Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.

Step 2: Duck!

Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. It’s very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height won’t matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.

Step 4: Knee him in the balls.

Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. I’m not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.

Step 6: Don’t lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. It’s very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.

Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I don’t like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.

Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want to…Your leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.

reblogging again for that^

Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I don’t so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so I’m passing it on.

(via christinaptv)


Velma is having none of your vampire shit today.

(via nadia-a123)


My grandpa has Alzheimer’s so he has no idea who my grandma is but everyday for the last three or four months he brings her in flowers from their garden and asks her to run away with him and be his wife and everyday she says she already is and everyday the smile my grandpa gets on his face is the most beautiful heartfelt thing I have ever seen.

(via premiere-chanel)

Who gives you the right to make fun out of people’s outfits, when you yourself are dressed in ugly ass furs?

Who gives you the right to point out all the negative flaws of a person who struggles to cope with said flaws?

Who gives you the right to say that Palestinians (civilians and armed forces alike) should and deserve to be wiped out?

And insist you do it in name of comedy….

Excuse me but there is a MASSIVE difference between a comedian and a BULLY



Joan Rivers on the Ed Sullivan Show, 1967 (x)



Has this comparison been made?

Even Sara agrees!

I was tagged by @brasilene

Replace with your own answers and then tag 10 people.

Name: Anouk

Nickname: Nuki, Kuki,Capt Kuks,Kuks, Pumpernickle wiener (only my best friend can call me this though!)

Birthday: September 28th

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Human

Height: 5’7

Time zone: GMT

What time and date is it there 1:12am and 29/08/2014

Average hours of sleep I get a night: Around 6-8 hours

Last thing I googled was: Brazilian Geography

Most used phrase(s): Que pereza, que pega, me cago, jueputa, QUE ES ESTA VARA?

First word that comes to mind: dictionary

What I last said to a family member: Ich liebe dich ma.

One place that makes me happy and why: My imagination, i can be whoever I want.

How many blankets I sleep under: 3

Favorite beverage(s): Ginger Ale, Water, Green Tea, Smoothies

Last movie I watched in the cinema: Saving Mr Banks

Three things I can’t live without: dictionary, internet and music

A piece of advice to all my followers: You don’t need a significant other to be happy

You all have to listen to this song: There are too many!!!

I’m gonna tag:
bones-of-roses, valzq, missrubybombshell, curvecreation, hellouniverseofwonder, hellolibertythings, rhondiiee, rocker-shark-gigolo, ashleyfromcedarlane


I’ll reply my stuff in a bit :D (this is gonna take a few minutes cause i’ve never done this before)

Obrigada brasilene :)



Cat is very happy to see his owner after being 3 days alone.

"i demand to be loved"

(via elhombre)


platanos are so important 

(via neymarcity)

I’ve never been mentioned in one, but imagine the time and dedication it takes

(via elhombre)